Follow @KwakusNotAmused Follow @KwakusNotAmused KWAKUS KORNER
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I’ll be gone till November.

I’ll be gone till November.

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Friends in need

 

"What rescued me from death’s embrace was the magic of friendship. Friends came to me, and did not let despair devour me. Their whispered words were balm for my bruised soul, yet for months I was not ready to hear them. When at last, my ears opened, this is what I heard: "Remember the departed, yes; but do not forget the living." The friends said: "We are still here. We mourn with you; but after mourning, listen to our pleading and come to us. We want you to live, with us." Those words pulled me out of the hole into which my stunned spirit crept. I did not forget the pain of death but I followed where the living led. On the voyage of friendship, surprise gave me to delightful surprise. My friends gave me unsuspected keys to life. Each opens a door into knowledge. Each brings new reasons for continuing effort. That is how I came to the house of life" (pg. 22).

— Ayi Kwei Armah in Kmt: In the House of Life. 2002.

I still don’t know how I feel about not having my mother around. She passed on 2 years ago by the way. Most of the time I brush it off because the big boy in me tells me I’m too old to be stuck on that but at times its real disheartening. In many aspects I’m successful. I make my own money and I’m set, I think. I’m making strides in my career as a writer but everything else is not so good. From time to time I need her advice on my platonic relationships or just for her to provide an ear to listen when I ramble about nothing; I cherished those times. I’m sure you feel the same sometimes.

I had a conversation with a mutual friend and we somehow talked about women. They pointed out that maybe I am lonely. But that’s something I’ve always been, even when things around me were perfect. At this point in time, everything is up in the air in that department. I am in love with someone whose feelings I am not sure of and that sucks big time. Unrequited love is something of an addiction for me. At the same time I don’t know if they should be because I’m not doing enough to show her I love her. I can go weeks without contact with her but with long distance relationships, I don’t think that’s uncommon. I remember when she left a friend told me I was playing with fire because I’ll be left in love on my own. He was right.

At the time because of my romanticism of love, which if you’ve been following me here for a while will know about, I had convinced myself this was something not time nor distance could break. And it hasn’t. We speak from time to time on every social network and through email but it’s not the same. In between the 4 years we’ve been a kinda-sorta couple, I’ve been seeing a few people here and there but it hasn’t gone anywhere because she is always been the woman I put on a pedestal.

I had a conversation with a friend [I know, I talk a lot] and we talked about how everyone always has that one person who will always have a special place in your heart. Whether you call them the love of your life, the one that got away or whatever, they are there if you think about it. You’re probably thinking of someone right now.  It might not necessarily be an ex and you don’t even have to have dated but they remain stuck in your head and heart. They are the benchmark that you judge how relationships should go and that’s where the problem is; benchmarks come with expectations of/in character  and two people aren’t the same and this is why ill probably never move on because I’m stuck on her.

But this is all over the place. The opening quote was about friendship and I wanted to salute my friends who have been with me throughout the ups and downs. I think we should appreciate friends for just being there when you needed them. Whether sharing a drink and getting wasted with you if that is what you want or changing their lifestyle because you did. They never pass judgement and I’m eternally grateful.

"On the voyage of friendship, surprise gave me to delightful surprise. My friends gave me unsuspected keys to life. Each opens a door into knowledge. Each brings new reasons for continuing effort. That is how I came to the house of life"

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"“People will always challenge cultures. We need to be good soldiers, know when to pull up our pants and when to put on a suit jacket. We need to realise that this is a business not just a street thing.” –"

— Kevin Liles on Hip Hop as a business.  Liles was president of Def Jam Recordings and executive vice president of The Island Def Jam Music Group from 1999 to 2004.

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@CassperNyovest performing Doc Shebeleza in Gaborone, Botswana. Friday, July 4th 2014. The video was taken using a phone so the sound is terrible :(

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Hashtag: Vanity

Hashtag: Vanity